


The Fanfic Writer

by Veronikamusic



Category: Septiplier Jelix
Genre: Angst, BoyxBoy, Darkiplier - Freeform, Eventual Smut, Felix kyellberg, Fluff, It will get triggering, Jelix - Freeform, Jelix especially, Jelix will be together, M/M, Markiplier - Freeform, Septicpie, Septiplier - Freeform, Septiplier AWAY!, Smut, So much angst, YouTube, antiseptic - Freeform, jacksepticeye - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-08 13:24:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8846752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veronikamusic/pseuds/Veronikamusic
Summary: Jack; cute, Irish, big time gaming youtuber, also a big time anonymous writer in the septiplier community.  Things start to change when his feelings start to change and anti comes out to play. (Also on wattpad as feralove )





	1. Where it began

"Jack smoothly pretends to plant a kiss on PJ's cheek, a cheeky gesture with Mark situated in the back behind them. It made a truly magnificent screencap. Jack hoped that it would make a little tension between himself and his dream lover, if the red haired gentleman had any feelings to reciprocate that is. If this, along with his constant touching of Felix, constant kisses, arse smacks, and whatnot didn't create some sort of fire within the half German half Korean friend there was no hope for anything to blossom."

"Jack!" A voice in the distance called, making me smack my computer screen down hastily. "Huh? What do ya want Mark?" I call back, a bit rushed as I was so lost in the chapter I couldn't even hear his calls. "Did you need me?"

"Well... You know... We're gonna get something to eat, and you were just kinda zoned out. Knowing you I would've figured you'd jump at the thought of food. I even called potatoes and Felix just did the usual." He chuckled softly, it was clear that he was extremely tired from all the travelling, poor Mark. I wish he just flew down a few days earlier, he wouldn't be in such a shit state.  

"Called me an Irish pussy or bitch?"

"Irish potato whore! Thought you were getting to used to the other names." Felix shouts as he walks into my hotel room. I can't believe these two, honestly.  I mean Mark and I get hotel rooms for the same floor and right by each other yet all they do is barge in on my room. Goodness sakes a man truly can't get any peace with these two in their lives. 

"Fuckin Christ, are all Swed's as annoying as you? Or were you just dropped more often than the other kids?" I chirped him right fucking back, you mess with the Jackaboy's  'special'  time and you won't get away unscathed.  

"Hey now, I was dropped a normal amount you literal green shit. Now, I'm hungry, I wanna get some food before everything closes." Felix states, I mean they do close things around 11 or 12 and I've lost track of the time but it's been a bit since we ended at like what? 8? Honestly I don't even remember. 

"Why can't we just call for a pizza?"

"Because that isn't nearly as fun as walking around."

"Ughhh, fine I'll come. Let's go, but I wanna be back at a decent time. I'm bloody tired alright?" I huff, I hate when I start something and don't get to finish, so I want to eat and get it on with, got me some important things to do when I get back. _______________________________________________________________________ We sit in this pizza place; myself, Felix, PJ and Mark. Felix and PJ drink beer with their pizza while Mark and I drink pop. I told him I was fully fine with not drinking any beer because I would hate to make him have to sit around tipsy/drunk fuckers the whole night. I know he doesn't mind but I feel not like an asshole but a full force ass itself to drink around him. So we eat together, joking about cringemas and having an overall decent time together.

I can't help but think back to the story from earlier; my story. Yes; I write fanfiction. Yes; it's septiplier. Yes; I am fully aware how fucked up that is but if it isn't going to stop plaguing my mind then I'm bloody well going to vent it anyway I fuckin can and if anyone has a problem they can kiss my pasty hairy ass. Damn well french it for all I care.

 "Irish_Potato_Licker" will keep all my fantasies in place.  I know it seems weird... but it's from a good place.. I think? I know I sound disgusting and don't worry, I beat myself up for it. I've spent many a nights just crying into a pillow over how much of a terrible friend I am, it really still hits me but I use the fanfiction to really help me. Any urge goes down in my one shots collection, and I have an ongoing one sided story of how poor little jackie boy deals with the struggle of loving his best friend. So yes, it's where I am now, it's like a diary that I disguise as a little fanfic so others can feel me without me having to actually express myself.  

"So... Jack? I heard you and Wiishu broke up, what happened?" Mark asked me, clinks of PJ's and Felix's beer bottles cheering in the background. God that's a bit harder to express than I really care to try to.

"I just knew we weren't meant to be, I didn't want to hold her back from a guy who could potentially be better for her. I mean we were both falling out of love slowly but surely. I mean we are still talking but it isn't like what it used to be." I say as nonchalantly as I can. The truth is she couldn't hold keep trying for us when many nights I would just sob over how my heart aches for another. she thought for a while that she could make it work with me, that maybe I was bisexual and just having a hard time with accepting, but when I couldn't stop the crying she knew I wasn't hers anymore. We agreed together it was best we split. I don't know what  feel worse about to be honest, that I feel things for one of my best friends, that Wiishu left heart broken, or that I didn't feel anything when we split...

"Oh god that's terrible. Man, I'm sorry. I didn't see you two splitting at all, you two seemed so perfect." Mark says in such a soft voice it makes me remember why I have such twinges in my soul.

"Honestly, don't worry. we are perfect. Perfect friends mate. I mean we held on for far too long. I know it sucks but I know we'll be ok. Don't worry about me. I'm more worried about you. You look so dead right now, what's goin on in there" I poke his head a few times to be annoyingly pesterful. He swats me away but I could care less, he did worry me sometimes with his health and the travelling he did.  

"Oh it's nothing, I've just been tired lately you know? Like I wake up just as groggy as I went to bed. I guess it's just stress, I haven't been home as much and haven't even got to work out much. I feel a bit thicker and not in the way I like to be." He sighs, but dear god he looks good even like this. Red hair fluffy and over part of his face, slightly faded, a definite bed head that doesn't even look styled.

  "You can skip a few days and still look ten times better than Felix ever does on his best days." I smile and laugh which gets one of those deep rumbly laughs that Mark creates that just makes everyone smile. His laugh is so unique it's actually beautiful. Felix whips his head over to look at me, looking shocked or maybe fake hurt. They had been chatting that whole time that I had to bring them back to try and make Mark not feel so down. 

"That's not what you said when you smacked my ass Jack" He seems so confident about that, well I'mma strike cause this swedish little shit screwed me out of updating my story for my fans.

"Yea, ass can be out of this world but that's why I hit it from the back; so I don't have to look at your ugly Swedish mug." Arms crossed I smirk. Mark laughing with PJ reassured to me that he's at least decent at this point. 

"I'm gonna kick your potato fucking ass."

"Why so much ass today?" PJ pipes in, humoured by the situation. 

"Because that's all Jack has, an ass but no dick!"

"I do too have a dick, it's twice the size you have!"

"zero plus zero still equals zero boys." PJ pops back in just to add his little jabs here and there. Felix just shoves PJ and we all have a good laugh.

Soon later they finally let me go to my room, well we all went different ways for the most part. I raced Mark up the stairs, I know he probably thought of it as competition and playfulness but I snuck it in as a mini work out so he doesn't feel like shit. We give a brief hug and go to our rooms.

Now; that story... Where was I? I really should finish this chapter and end it so my fans aren't waiting. I know I shouldn't do this but ever since I read one a while back I couldn't stop thinking about these stories and what a grand imagination could bring.  I blame "who's your daddy" for this, because someone made this absolutely smutty fanfiction of me calling Mark daddy and having him fuck me with a dildo, the purple one in the game to be exact. I knew I was clearly into Mark once I read it for the third time and still had a massive boner, here was no denying things now. That's how I learnt the difference between being enamored by his awesomeness from being into him for it. 

From there I read more til I noticed that no one ever caught how I felt to a T. Everyone made it seem so much like one second we were hiding feelings to another second just hard core fucking, and that's where my stories come in. I wanted people to get me as... me. God I just want more than anything for it to be known that I at least tried to get over him. I did. Then he gives you a hand massage that makes your body literally leave your soul like Dr. Strange when he first gets shot out his bloody body, and then you fall ten times harder for Mark. The boner I had when he spoke about anyone getting a massage from him forever being his and his alone, whoa!  Don't get me wrong I still write disgusting smutty stories, I just feel terribly bad afterwards. I'm glad he isn't into this shit. He would never read one of these, I mean he's got a girlfriend. He isn't gonna read a story about me being head over heels for him when he has a girl he cares for. If he did, whoo boy would I be in trouble because they have scary detail and accuracy to how he looks and his house and mine because all I have to base these things off of are real places, just he doesn't have the same feels back.

I post to tumblr to update my fans that I released the next chapter of the story, they really wanted one based off whatever happened in Cringemas. You give, I ask. Hopefully they like it because I gathered as much as I could, hell, everything I did straight down to some of my inner thoughts are written in that chapter so my little potato lovers better love it, all sixty thousand of them.  Now; what will inspire my next chapter? I'm sure with us all hanging out this week that something else will cause me inner turmoil enough to write another chapter. 


	2. The cringes conclusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jelix is happenin

I have never seen so much #Jelix or #KicktheSeptic on my feed that I can't even understand what's what anymore. To put it into even worse terms Mark went silent on me, he's not talking much at all, maybe it's just when I enter the room but it feels almost deliberate. 

I go to talk to Felix, unsure where I stand in general. I text him to ask what time we're gonna hang out but instead of answering like a normal person he just skypes me as an answer. I just wanted to forget about how weird Mark was acting only to get a weirder Felix if that were even possible. 

"Yes Marzia, no, no I guess I didn't think that was weird. Please not right now, I gotta go. No, no one is with me. Yes I'm going out with the guys today, don't act that way." Felix ended up looking at me with a pleading look, almost saying sorry. He put her on speaker just so I would understand why he was on the line with her so long.

"Felix! I just think you're getting things to your head too much. You touched not one but two butts yesterday, I mean you flirted more than I've ever seen you do before with Jack and Mark yesterday than you've ever done with me. I mean am I no good?" She was spitting words rapid fire like, I could barely make it out, seems her accent gets stronger when she's mad. I guess she wasn't too keen on how he was with us, I mean I was so used to him just so casually flirting that it didn't phase me anymore. I mean who would even consider him to be in shit for something he was so commonly known for.

"So, are you gay? I need to know Felix, I can't keep doing this when you seem much happier with men..." She trailed off and honestly she isn't a bad person. Out of everything I think she was the sweetest person I've ever met, god she was even sweeter than Mark with Chica. Felix looked around the room he was in, biting his lip with brows furrowed to a great degree of anxiety like nothing I had ever seen. 

"Marzia I gotta go, we've talked about this, I don't appreciate you making a situation out of us playing around for our fans. We can talk again later, ok? Please? I need to-"

"Who are you with. Felix, why are you trying to end it like that? Say what you need to say now or I'm staying in Italy for an extra two weeks."

"Look, I'm just about to go talk to one of the guys, Marzi, just calm down. We can talk later, I want to be around the guys in a decent mood." Felix mouthed sorry to me so I just worded back no worries and take your time because what else is there to do? I couldn't disconnect or else I would have no one else to talk to at this time but I felt like leaving him during a scolding seemed like an asshole thing to do to the poor guy. 

"Marzia, yes I am on the phone with Jack ok? So I will talk to you later, I gotta go cause all the guys are meeting up again. "

"So, it's Jack hmm?"

"Marzia don't be stupid right now or I'm hanging up."

"Does he know you're bi-" And the phone called was dropped. Felix looked at me with the most shame his eyes could possibly hold.

"Um, yea. So Marzia is in a bad mood, I guess she didn't find Cringemas very funny." He tried to joke but I couldn't believe he was bisexual, I should've known, not that it's my business. I know i shouldn't pry but I mean if it's out on the table I might as well get the story.

"So you're like... Bi? It's not bad man, I don't think you need to worry about it, we all have our secrets. Does anyone else know?" 

"Well, Marzia... myself... you... yeah that's everyone, and if we could just keep it that way? I don't want the whole world to know." This made me think about where I was at with my own sexuality. I mean at least he knew what he liked, I just knew I liked Mark, and that isn't a sexuality. I just don't know what I am... God I'm so confused. 

The tension in my own head was to the point that my own eyes could not control the streams that were ready to pour out. Sadly Felix saw my eyes glass over in a way that was just so out of the blue that he instantly jumped up, catching my attention and bringing me back to reality.

"Oh god ok no I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd be this upset by it! I promise I don't mean it when I hit on you, I'm really not trying to be that way in a sexual advance way, it's just my humour!"He's so scared I swear, like this is his fault... It isn't, I just... I feel like I'm ruining things all around me, this isn't anything he should apologize for yet I was already choking on tears to the point where words wouldn't come out of my mouth to let him know he isn't at fault.

"That's it, I'm coming, you just sit tight my Irish little potato shit." He hums, he doesn't even exit Skype before I see him in the background leave the house, or at least the best I can with this blurred vision I have. First Mark, so off yesterday, he didn't even want to talk much at the pizza shack. Now Felix was forced into confronting that he's bi, and to me! I was probably not even on the list of people to give that honour to, or if I was I was last on the list. I honestly couldn't tell how long I sat sobbing, it was enough time for pewds to be at the door I shuffle myself over and open the door before walking to the bedroom to sob into a pillow. I shouldn't have come. Everyone is so close and I'm just this awkward fan boy who stuck some luck in the life lottery. The others worked so hard to be here, and they can tell stories together, meanwhile if it weren't for the two men who I feel I wronged I wouldn't be here. 

"Jack, c'mon. Don't worry, I'm not gonna be any different, ok?" He soothed, rubbing the broader part of my back, I can't take this pain in my stomach. This just sucks just so much. 

"It-It isn't that!" I whimpered out, god I sound like a ninny...

"Then what is it?" 

"I... I think I'm gay. Felix I'm gay. I'm gay and a destroyer of things around me with my gayness." Words fumble out of my mouth before they could be stopped, something was just so wrong in me, everything was a boiling point that I just had to tell someone. 

Mark and I actually have only talked maybe two or three times this month, I had talked to Amy more in the same time and I was friends moreso with Mark, or I thought. Now with the weird feeling I had about having to get these emotions out just... and poor Felix is gonna have to deal with this til he takes it upon himself to leave.

"Jack, you know I don't mind right? None of us would mind, but since you're hiding my shit I'll keep yours to myself. How bout we get breakfast, something to cool your head. I'll pay, we can get some Brighton breaks, breathe in the air, I mean it isn't as fresh as Ireland but it'll have to do right?" Felix's hand fluffed my green locks in an attempt to lighten the mood a bit.

"My eyes are probably bloodshot, you really wanna bring 'this' out in public?" I huff, turning my head to face him. 

"Fine fine, we can order room service, eat on the balcony and once your eyes depuff we take a personal venture around." He smiled triumphantly at his own ideas. I don't hate them though, I need this. After months of hiding the real reason my relationship ended, it helps. 

"You seem pretty fine for a guy who just got outed and just had an arguement with their girlfriend. How do you do it?" My question lingered in the air for a bit before a soft but audible sigh was heard in the quiet room. 

"I just have no reason to be upset in my life, I have so much good stuff around me that sometimes I need a bad day to let me understand everything's value. I think that's what you're going through right now too buddy, things get real good in life that sometimes life needs to let us know we still shit the same as everyone else. I mean we make enough to live, we have great friends, families who care, we have to have stuff happen once in awhile or else it's all meaningless now isn't it?" Felix always had this side in him, he just didn't show it online as much because his persona didn't call for it. He was the goof online, and the genuine friend who you would've never seen having such a heart off screen. This is why he has so many friend in the first place, he's a good guy.

"Okay..." I grumble.

"Okay what?"

"We can eat on the balcony, can you get me pancakes, and tea, and bacon, and eggs and-"

"Dude do I need to write like a fucking grocery list?" Felix scoffs, but still calls the service downstairs for all the food I had ordered and things for himself, at least I wasn't eating alone. I can't think about doing anything alone right now to be honest. I mean what can I do in Brighton without at least one of the guys with me? Yeah, I'm dependent right now, sadly.

________________________________________________________________________

The food comes and we situate it ourselves. I sit in a septic shirt, sweatpants, slippers and by glasses while shovelling food in my mouth like I had never seen food before this very moment. Felix had been on his phone a fair bit, getting PJ to get the guys to hang out together without he and I because we were just having a chill day, not that it would really matter to Mark now that he was so distant. Yes, I know haven't proven that he's distant, it's more of my intuition, like I know that if I were to try and hug him or poke him that he would stiffen up in a way you do when that aunt no one likes comes down and hugs you, fuckin aunt Carol, causing all them unwanted hugs and kisses, bringing those ugly ass sweaters at christmas you were forced to wear to appease her. Yeah, well for Mark it seems like I'm his aunt Carol, or it feels like it.

"What's wrong? Are they mad? I get if yous wanna spend time with Mark and the funky punch, no hate here, I gets it, I do. I'm bein a debby downa, a bother. At least I feel that way. I feel like a blob on paper Bob Ross can't eve turn into a happy accident." Felix just laughs, I guess I can still make someone laugh.

"Well once you finish that meal for twenty I'm gonna be your Bob Ross and turn you into a happy tree and less of accidental green on the canvas, like your hair to your face."

"I like the green." I huffed, pouting slightly, I think green compliments my eyes.

"Well we are gonna have our own day to just do us ok? That means us gay guys get the chance to gossip or whatever the fuck you wanna do and I can show you around my town in the process. It's a win win here for me to be honest." Joy leapt from word to word in the tone he had, smile blazing as he felt pride in the quaint town.

"Ok, well are the guys ok with us not being there?" I ask, subconsciously hoping that Mark had said something about me.

"They're good. PJ joked that he was hoping for some action with an Irish fucker after the kiss from yesterday but other than that they're good. Mark and PJ are gonna go do their own thing today, apparently shopping. " He shrugged nonchalantly even though it hurts my heart that Mark doesn't seem to even worry about me. 

"Ok.. So what do you wanna do?" I say, trying my best to hide the disappointment. 

"Let's go to the beach!" 

"Felix."

"Yes?"

"It's basically winter."

"And your fuckin point?!" He jumps up, stretching his limbs before grabbing my hand and dragging me to the door.

"I don't even have socks on! How are you gonna just send us out the door?!" I everything but squeaked out. He had already put his shoes on, door open and giving me a look that basically told me he didn't give a fuck.

"Fine I guess my feet can stink. You're a prick by the way." I chide, punching his shoulder. 

________________________________________________________________________________

Mark's POV:

Amy is calling me, it's the third time today, but I'm just not bothered to answer. Usually I would instantly answer, calling each other cutesy names, but I just feel so tired, so drained lately. Something inside me feels gross and groggy. Plus I keep having negative thoughts in the back of my head that are so overwhelming sometimes. It is starting to scare me to the point of thinking about whether I should even be around others. 

I walk with PJ, texting Amy that I'll call her back later, and that I was really busy at the time being even though I'm far from it, and I know PJ wouldn't mind. My head has been having non stop thumpings, almost numbing me to feel nothing at all. I've had this for a sold three months, hell maybe even more than that. It's been pretty bad this last month, I refuse for the most part to talk to the people that my bad thoughts keep gunning for. I can't talk to Amy because the voice wants to whisper everything she's insecure about to her to see what it does to her, and Jack; well I just don't think what the weird side of my brain wants me to do should ever be said. It's despicable. I could never imagine doing it. The blood.. The pain.. The weird desires, I just think I need to keep it away. Locked and hidden, even with it fighting me tooth and nail over the door being shut in it's face.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Authors note: I don't hate any of the girlfriends, I think they're all great, but this is a fanfiction involving the guys so I will kind of push them away, it isn't that I dislike them or don't respect their relationships. I just think that fanfiction is a fun way to express your love for the fandoms. Don't hate, comment! 

Also I wrote this chapter while listening to this song.


	3. Dinner get together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calm chapter of just some games and the bits having fun

"PJ's family moonshine recipe combines sugar with ____, to make it go down smooth."  Felix chides, telling the group the card so they knew who to offend and the scenario. PJ looks at Felix, laughing as he dropped his card, eyes locked with the Sweds, almost as though to intimidate him with the confidence he oozed with such a card. Jack looked into his deck, groaning and whining about how the cards were never in his favour, that he would never win which he wasn't exactly off about as his hands had given him the least amount of wins from the group. Mark chuckled to himself, handing off his card. They waited for Jack to put a card in patiently at first before a string of curses came from his mouth, showing his distaste in his card. 

"pop rock blow jobs to make it go down smooth, wow you sure are generous PJ." Felix snorts while placing the card onto the table. PJ just waved his hand queen styled as a way to show off his excellent moonshine etiquette. 

"We are very generous people."

"tongue punching your fart box, Jack if this is you I'mma lick your fart box to see if it's any better that way." Felix joked which made the men laugh, but also made Jack blush. He didn't take the joking flirts too well. Mark noticed the blush and poked his head out from his cards to get real close to Jack's face, almost weird in any other circumstance if it hadn't been for the fact that the men were so touchy in their friendships. The sudden movement scared Jack visibly into jerking back. Mark looked a bit.. off. Face seeming a bit more brutish as if for a moment he wasn't him.  

"You look yummy when you're blushing." Mark said in a voice which oddly seemed different than the usual him, a voice much deeper and darker than the others knew. He instantly jumped back into his seat, full force laughing when Jack started to go into a tomato red state. The others seemed unphased by the action, rather joining in on the whole hearted guttural sounds. 

"Yes yes, we all wanna tongue punch Jack's fart box, that's what we do of course. BUT ON TO TEH NEXT CARD!" Felix screeched the ending before continuing with the game. "With cock and ball torture to make it go down smooth." Felix started to look at everyone, eying them to see whom put that card down, Jack fidgeted in his seat, knowing that his card was the last one to be played. 

"I mean I guess you're easing the sting of the shine with the sting of balls n cock pain eh." PJ shared, looking at everyone with a bit of a giggle ensuing. Felix looked at his options, almost like this was the hardest choice of his life, while Mark groaned, rolling his eyes out of the boredom of waiting for a card to be chosen. 

"Just pick ooooooooooooonnnnnne." He whined, cheek making its way to press against the cold marble slab of countertop.  Felix rolled his eyes and pointed to the winning card.

"Punching that fart box, but that's only if I can punch Jack's fart box." Felix smirked, poking Jack's still tinted cheeks, making his groan til a pout formed. Mark grabbed his winning card with a smile that was brighter than any he'd had the whole time he was down. 

"My arse Felix, not yours. I choose who decides to French it you dirty Swedish meatball." Jack stuck his tongue out while picking up a replacement card. They kept playing games for a good solid hour, just playing til someone beat the rest unanimously. It just so happened to be Mark that won with over ten on the guys, and Jack having the least amount of wins with seven. 

"What do you guys wanna do, I know you leave in a day, which is gonna suck without you fuckers." Felix sighed audibly, truly saddened by the idea of his friends leaving again.

"You lot could visit me in Ireland Jack said with the goofy grin he wore often plastered into his face. "Me being single and all got me with nothin to do ya know. "

"I'm not spending more time away from Chica, plus Amy misses me. My girlfriend and I should spend some more time together. " Mark spoke out. 

"Well I'll come down, marzia is staying in Italy a while longer. I've never been to your place before, could be fun." Felix was excited to say the least and pj simply offered a maybe one day as he was broke at the time being and wouldn't want to cause too much of a fuss. 

"Well Felix you just pick a day and I'm cool with it." Jack was smiling from ear to ear just knowing that at least he'd have a friend down so he wouldn't be lonely within his own home.

"Screw it, lemme book a flight. I'll go with you to Ireland.  Let's fuck up the fangirls. They think septiplier is dead so let's get em wet with SEPTIC PIE." Evil laughter came from the deepest parts of Felix's gut that no words could come out the other men's mouths, so Pj just shoved some of their leftover chicken dinner in Felix's mouth, making him gag and the rest chortle. 

"Fuck you. You Brighton bitches. " he huffed, then ending off the flight tickets plan and being ready to board with the Irish bloke within the coming day. "Well when we get back we can go pack ma shit so we're good for the flight jackaboy.  That is, if you don't mind." Felix did a weird tongue flick while touching his nippers that made jack roll his cerulean eyes. 

"Fack off will ya? I'm not fuckin you; ever." Feeling a bit proud of his comment only lead to his demise.

"Duh. You're the bottom bitch. You'd never get to fuck. Ya idiot. "Felix practically wheezed while smacking Jacks back. 

_________________________________________________

The day went by and everyone started on their voyages.  Mark answered his phone in front of Felix and Jack, I've felt more like himself when getting close to going home. 

"Amypliiiiiieeeer. I'm coming home, bring Chica.  I miss you guys. Huh? You're-really? Oh cmon. Don't be that way, you got a few hours before I'm down if that make-up no OK I guess that was mean of me. Yes yes I love you. No I would never! Well I gotta go okay? OK. " Mark seemed to have a bit of issues at home; nothing the boys would meddle with. 

"By markimooooooo" Felix Holla red even though mark was no more than an arms length away. Mark gave the man a hug, tight, warm. The usual hug you would receive from the loving man. 

"Bye Markiemarkimoo." Jack chimed in, hoping to receive a hug too. At first mark seemed hesitant before giving in to embrace him so tightly, before it became almost a death grip. 

"Soon."  Was whispered into his ear by that same strange deepness from earlier. So low and gravelly that Felix didn't even hear it, and Jack was unsure if he should mention it considering the lack of what he would say. He didn't even know what you would say to explain that. When they pulled away a few squealed septiplier only for Felix to plant a kiss on marks cheek then Jacks. 

"No septiplier here. These two are both equally my bitches. CRY on with your days children." Chiding the fans Mark seemed to go back to normal, his face not looking so conniving or menacing.

"Bye jackypoo." He sing songed, it was the most charismatic he'd been to jack this whole time, leading jack back down the rabbit hole of finding the male indescribably handsome. 

"We gotta go." The Swedish accent said softly, causing jack to notice that mark was no longer in front of him, and the fans had slowly resumed with their days. Just like that, he was back at square one.

On the plane he thought about where he should take the story. It was clear that people were noticing his pain and suffering of losing the chance to be with Mark,  but maybe it was time for him to start to change the story to fit what the people were seeing. In fact, maybe he should involve both Felix and mark to give some tension! But he regretted that thought immidiately once he felt Felix poke his cheek. They had been sat there waiting for the lady to finish the instructions of what to do if they were to crash but Jack had taken it to delve back into story mode. 

" did you catch anything she said?" Felix asked even though he already knew the answer.

"Did you?" Jack hissed, mad his thought process was interrupted.

"Hey now mister snippy, I ask cause if you didn't pay attention I got us covered." The smile showed genuine pride in his own ability to pay attention.

"Well at least one of us will survive." Jack huffed.  Rolling his eyes and crossing his limbs.

"I'll save myself then you bb." Felix joked. Both men chuckled respectfully before doing their own things for the ride.  Jack passed out on the males shoulder; and Felix... well he played with the soft green locks atop the Irish blokes head. Keeping the male calm. He knew the way things were going were only going to drive mark and jack further apart, but he hoped that his caring for the lad would potentially keep him happy. All he wanted was for jack to be happy. All he wanted was for jack to be jack. Soon he noticed that all he'd been wanting this cringemas was Jack, and boy did it feel like a ton of bricks landed right on the nutsack in his heart.


	4. Strange Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's some dark and some anti potentially popping in!

Jack woke up by the hand of Felix in his hair, telling him they needed to get up. He didn't know why he had to, he just wanted to sleep. Sure, sleep... He went along with Felix, getting things done so they could go back to his home so he could go to right back to sleep.

____________________________________________________________________

"Mark embraced Jack by the crowd, whispering in a tone that could only mean one thing; lust. Mark whispered a raspy tone 'soon.' Which caused shivers down Jack's back, pitter pattering down his body leaving tingle that shocked his core to no end. He held in a whimper when the larger man pulled away. He wished he could keep him closer, almost morphing their bodies together, nothing could ever make him feel close enough to the male. He wanted to breathe in the scent of Mark's shadowy hair, live in the scent as it was the essence of joy in his life, and the sparkle in his eye was all the light Jack needed in his life. He stood still, instead, watching the love of his life leave his line of vision, for he thought things would be easier for him, but rather they got harder and more drawn out with each step the korean german lad took from him."

Jack felt that was a good place to end the chapter at, it seemed that his fans on the forum had noticed the two's embrace, he did feel good about it, that it looked good. It seemed that his joy over the situation ended when he saw the new videos posted by Mark that broke his poor heart. Wilting into his bed from the comfortable position he was into more of a depressing melted blob watching without thinking. Just feeling.

"Hey man! You're up-" Felix started, bursting into the bloke's room before he noticed the green haired munchkin tearing up by his personal computer. "What's wrong...?" He asked softer this time, tone quiet to fit the situation. He slowly moved towards the bed, sitting towards the edge of it so Jack had all the space he could need.

"Mark... he just put up a second video, not just one but two about going on about how we aren't real. Why didn't he ask me about it first? Does my opinion not matter? I mean it kinda hurts like a bitch to see them all just joking about our friendship now that he barely even talks to me. Felix, why is he doing this?" His facial features went soft, saddened by the things he had been watching on what seems like repeat. He didn't really like to open up much about Mark being so distant but he couldn't help it. Felix had some sort of calming effect on everyone he befriended.

"Well... we could put up a video, I have one we filmed recently, remember the bottle fliplympics we did? Maybe watching the fans react to our shitty flips will soothe your head." Felix offered as he ruffld the green locks, which made Jack smile and nod, knowing how much fun he had with that game.

"You wanna upload it?" His voice raspy, but still keeping his Irish accent strong in his speech.

"Yeah, let him know you're ok, we did it before cringemas by a day so I think it's still recent enough to be my video for the time being." Felix was a smart guy, he didn't hide content, he just knew when to upload.

"Ok, well... Sure. Let's do that, you didn't upload today anyways and I'll be upset with you if you ditched your subscribers for me." Jack got up and hugged Felix after just scolding the Swed. He felt so much more at peace when Felix hugged back, letting him know it was ok.

"Well you do you, I'm gonna go edit it up a bit more, just add some little fun edits before I upload it."

"I'll just sit with you, then we can go watch a movie or something, hell, maybe we can even play that stupid fookin game genital jousting. " Jack smiled, flopping onto his stomach and grabbing Felix's phone from his exposed back pocket.

"Hey you little thief give that back." Felix didn't really even attempt to get it back because all Jack was doing was taking ugly selfies and going on snapchat to make himself look as though he was a samurai or that his face was in a toilet. It was stupid really, but the stupid made him feel good, so Felix grabbed his computer and started the editing. Felix had his glasses on and intently got right up to the screen, making things look seamless for the viewers while Jack opened conversations and chatted for all Pewd's fans. They both were equally having fun while doing separate things that intertwined.

Felix uploaded his video, then packing his computer up to put it away. Jack looked at Felix who was getting up.

"Yes?" Felix asked, seeing the male looking up at him with his big blue sea like eyes. "What would you like?" Jack showed him the screen, which had Jack doing a few goofy faces but with a bunny filter on it, giving him a tiny mouth, big pink floppy ears, a pink tipped nose and gigantic eyes. "I'm a bunny." He said in such a serious tone that Felix couldn't even try and stifle the laughter. He doubled over in a fit of inhumane laughter which made Jack start to laugh as well.

They slowly got back to their usual selves before going to sit in the living room with popcorn and a scary movie marathon, they were to marathon the saw films, then insidious, the sinister, and end with the conjurings. That is, until it was interrupted. Jack saw a message on his screen from the one and only Markimoo, only twenty minutes into the second saw movie.

"Um..." Jack paused the film, hunching over his screen, which left Pewds confused, concerned and highly intrigued. "What's up?"

"Mark asked if I was... Mad... At him. It's because of my tweets isn't it? Or is it because of the video? I'm confused." Jack looked at the message; like it was a different language he kept scanning the five words. Treating it like hieroglyphics he passed the phone to Felix with a sigh. "I don't know what to say. I mean I'm not mad, ok maybe a little, but it isn't like I want him to know that. I shouldn't have to tell him I'm mad, like what kind of person would I be if I was mad he used our friendship to monopolize and make me a complete joke, definitely not a reason to be mad. Right?!" Jack threw himself to his feet, starting to pace like a maniac. "I just find it funny-"

"You sound like an angry ex." Felix chirped, hoping he wouldn't regret that comment.

"Well I feel I have a right to be upset, I mean when you made Jacksepticeye2 it was a joke yes, but you told me about it before you uploaded it just to make sure it wasn't too far and I tought it was funny! Ai tink iam a pretty easier goin' guy then a load o men but i get tossed to a curb like I was somethin to nuthin! Nice guys finish last eh? He only mentions me name once I can become a joke for him!" Jack was slurred, his accent got stronger with how much more his fury flamed, which lead to Felix texting Mark.

"He's fine, don't worry. Just a bit jet lagged and such, maybe right now you should let him rest a bit." Felix skype messages to Mark.

"Well is he upset at me?" Mark responded instantly

"I mean he was a little grumpy."

"So is it because of me?"

"Well I mean to be honest the videos about your friendship did make him a little upset, but I know he'll get over it. Why do you ask?"

"He was tweeting things, stuff about how he'd be ok eventually or something. I figured it was about me."

"Just... next time ask him first whether he's ok with that stuff man." Felix stopped responding, looking down with a gasp as he realized Jack was laid out on the floor. He wasn't sure when his freak out turned to a passing out but he didn't think his conversation was long enough for the male to become absolutely wrecked. Felix grabbed a blanket from the spare bedroom and draped it over the male on the floor who he just found out snores.

He goes and eats cereal from the kitchen, enjoying some of the quiet as he knew he would have a bunch of loud rambunctious screams and such from Jack when he woke up.

__________________________________________________________________________

Mark was playing with Chica, petting her and trying to think. He didn't think jack would get so upset by a little joke. He knew he was shutting him out, he was aware. But so what? Sometimes he was slipping up, like how he talked to him at the bar, or hugging him so tightly.

"This is soooo annoying!" He heard Amy groan. She walked over, laptop in hand.

"Did you see this? Feliz or felix is it? I don't remember, that Pewd's guy put up a video with your ex friend. They even had you in it!" She practically tossed the computer. She didn't like if mark was in someone else's video or referenced as she didn't want people to use him to become big. She felt that that was how jack became a big youtuber, hell it was part of the reason Mark didn't go down as much to Ireland anymore. He didn't want to make her feel as though he was being used, even though he full well knew jack wasn't like that.

Jack was soft, he couldn't hurt a fly. When he smacked mark hard for a video that even included felix he instantly flew into his arms right after,scared he hurt Mark. He remembered it fondly because it was his good friends. He loved these people. They gave him so much joy to be around because they were all established, not trying to use one another's name for views. They hung out only for the friendship. It was genuine, which is hard to find in this age.

"So... All they said was that Felix watched my videos. That doesn't seem too bad Amy, in fact that seems almost like a shout out."

"You don't need pity shout outs though, you weren't even invited to this!" She got defensive. She always did in these types of situations.

"I also just got home and came to the cringemas special late." Mark grabbed her hands, looking her in the face. "Now stop worrying. I'd rather not do a bottle flip video. Plus; they're friends. They're allowed to play together."

"Marky, I just don't like you being put into things as click bait."

"I'm not though; truth me when I say that felix has done much more click bait like things before." Mark then slowly gets up off the couch.

"what are you doing?"

"I'm gonna go for a run." He shifted; he seemed almost in a different type of composure, facing away from Amy, more alerted and rather snippy. "Not that you'd ever join." A creepy grin spreading on his face which she could not see as she was facing his back. An audible gasp came from her before she moved to almost sprint out of the room.

Mark had been running around his block, only it didn't feel like it was just Mark. His head grew woozy, body suddenly fatigued.

~

He was much angrier, more feisty. He was indeed jealous. Jealous of the little lambseptic being with alpha Pewd's. He felt he wasn't supposed to play with his things. That was his toy. His. Toy. His plaything. So how dare Felix talk to him as though things were fine before doing his act of playing with the little human he wanted.

~

Mark gasped. He felt like he had run a mile. He looked around, seeing he was about an hour and a half from home by running. Checking his phone he noticed that Bob messaged him a few times, saying that Amy asked if he was ok. He just texted yeah and started the venture home. Not really sure how he got there or when but he decided it was better not to ask. Just go home and pretend like you didn't end up in some weird town, or that you weirdly enough know your way back.

_____________________________________________________

Felix still had jack just passed out on the floor for what seemed like an hour but was he going to wake him? No. He just drank his beer, watched his TV, and used Jack's bum as a foot rest til the bloke awoke.

________________________________________________

"Whe-where am I?" I asked confused, scared, and overwhelmed by the darkness.

"He's coming you know." A flirty Irish accent came from nowhere. It sounded like me, but I didn't say that. Eyes nothing like I'd ever seen. One lookin like it was straight out of a horror film, the other like lookin in a mirror.

"Who are you? Get out of my house!" I yell, yet a giggle came from the ever growing depths. His voice echoed strongly through this place, while my loudest of yells stayed soft.

"He's much stronger than you know. I mean sure, Darky is strong but his troublesome counterpart has him strapped down. Although our Darky is starting to come baaaaaaack!"

"Who in the right fook is Darky? Who's our? I'm not agreeing to no 'our' cause I don't even know who you are!"

"You can't be serious, you know who I am. I'm always here, I'm the only who let's you know which boys are really cute and I'd take back and do terrible things with." The voice so scandalous it its own way. It seemed so filthy in nature, making me cringe due to it sounding quite like me. I felt uncomfortable in my own skin.

"My... sexuality? You know, I never thought people had a voice for that. I figured that the boners would just kinda speak for themselves."

"You're such an idiot. Well at least Darky will deal with us."

"Deal with? Us? You still haven't answered my question! Who are you?! Who is Darky?!" I hollared? I just wanted to know who the hell this was. I don't understand this dream, I don't understand if this is a dream at all. I'm confused... I'm stressing and panicking. I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack if this keeps up.

"Jack" that's not either of us now, more... Swedish?

"Oh you know who we are." The voice started to feign, dimming. I run in the direction I last heard the sound from

"No!" I cry,dropping to my knees. I just want to understand.

"Jack wake up." No not yet! God not yet! I need this to be explained. I can't keep going with this! It can't keep plaguing me!

"I'll keep in touch. After all, we're a team you and me." The voice ended the statement with a sadistic giggle that slowly faded away. I fall decrepidlty into a ball, I can't even see my own self in this darkness but I know I'm holding my sides so tight I can barely breathe.

"JACK!"

I wept, I don't like this dream!

______________________________________

"JAAAAACK." Felix's strange squeal awoke me from my dream.

"Wha?" I groan, wiping my eyes only to feel them soft and wet.

"I think... I think you just had a night terror." Felix was so concerned, I could hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes.

"Oh, so a nightmare. Don't make it sound so bad, they happen once in a while. You just had the misfortune of seein it live." I sighed, seems I've been doing that a lot lately.

"No, don't you play it down. That's some shit that if you need to talk I'm here for." He was hugging me now, I didn't even realize he close he was to me, sure; he shook me to my waking groans but I didn't think he was so close that he could engulf me like he was.

"Fine fine, just... I keep getting this weird arse backwards dream of some voice telling me someone's coming soon. No idea who they're talking about. No idea who they are. No idea what that means when they call me and them a team but it's weird and freaky and that's literally all I know of it." I ramble, I didn't wanna really get into my personal problems but it seems felix had the ears to hear all my problems because I just kept hitting him with more and more of my fucked up shit and I'm honestly surprised he hasn't backed up and packed up to get out of my life already. He really is a good friend.

"That's weird, maybe the whole thing with you and your ex partnered up with Mark got you all screwy. It's normal to have weird dreams while stressing. Let's just go for a walk or something, to take the edge off." Felix's smile helped me, I just felt good about talking to someone who had literally no judgement towards me. I just hope that these stupid dreams stop. I'll never forget it, I don't get it. That stupid eye, almost like Sam the septic eye, but it's always paired with an eye my colour too. I just... I don't want to let Felix know I'm dreaming about floating eyes, darkness is easier to explain than your own symbol haunting you for Christ's sake. Oh well, maybe it'll be a bit better tomorrow. I mean I can only hope, I doubt it could get worse than this.


	5. Calamities Ensue

Jack made breakfast, just ignoring his phone completely as a trail of texts from Signe and Mark came in, mainly just making sure he was fine, which he was. Sure, he did technically blackout the night before but that's nothing. Totally normal. 

Felix came into the kitchen, poking Jack's side, making him squeak and almost fall to the floor. 

"Jesus fookin christ you scared the daylights outta me." Jack huffed, breath shaking as it slowly steadied.

"Gotta get these last scares in before I leave tonight." Felix sat down and ruffled his hair, still half asleep.

"Aw.. I forgot it was tonight, that sucks, we didn't even film anything, I know the fans would probably love another collab. Oh well, at least we had a pretty decent time even with the boringness that is I."

"Oh please, I came knowing my little Irish bitch needed some emotional support." Felix smiled warmly, it was genuine; _he was genuine._

"Well what about you and Marzia ai? You gonna be good on your own for a bit, I know it's probably rough on you right?" Jack asked, taking the conversation off himself. He didn't like to be the centre of attention all the time, sure, some attention is nice, but with how his head's been he didn't want to cause anymore concern for Felix. 

"Well I'll be with Brad and Mich-"

"ROMANIAN!"

"You little shit."

"You can never take that accomplishment from me."

"Oh whatever, more salt please."

"You aren't salty enough?"

"I swear!" 

The two boys settled in, having a nice day before Felix would be leaving.

________________________________________________________________________________

Jack drove Felix to the airport, he knew they would skype once he got home, just to make sure he was totally completely safe. They got in, checked Felix in, hugged and Jack left when Felix boarded. He waved at the plane from his car as it took of, knowing Felix was probably lookin down.

Jack went home, and that's when he was the most vulnerable. 

Jack sat down on his couch, head aching. Body sore. He didn't know why he felt like he went toe to toe with a boxer but it felt absolutely horrendously terrible. It was just such a numbing pain he passed out with his outerwear and even shoes still on himself.

___________________________________________(Jack's pov)

" _Jackie boy, I'm coming, and not just for you." Marks deep voice,_ _scruffy_ _and rough, almost jagged as he spoke. I_ _couldn't_ _see him, just red eyes in the distance. This... this is the first time_ _I've_ _seen_ _red_ _eyes in this dream._

_"Mark_ _what_ _are you doing?" I ask, starting to move to the darkness only to be met by a grin just a bit under those red eyes._

_"Why,_ _I'm_ _giving you a tiny warning my sweet little bunny. I want you to know that no matter how quick you run or how small you are you will never be off my radar. I will always_ _snatched_ _you by your cottontail and_ _I_ _will always own you." He walked out from the darkness._ _God_ _he still turned me on more than anything even in this state._

_His eyes were a deep red that pierced  my soul. He started to walk towards me which in turn got me to walk backwards. I was biting my lip but_ _didn't_ _realize until_ _I_ _tasted that bitter metal. He reached out to my face, resting the open palm on my cheek before the other hand grabbed my hair and pulled. Hard._

_"Ow! Wh-why are you hurting me?!" I cry out. He laughs at my_ _whimpers_ _only to shock me with the strangest thing_ _imaginable_ _.  He took the hand from my cheek to choke me, his hand gripping tightly on my throat and as_ _I_ _was taking my last breaths he kissed me, almost as if he wanted my last breath of life to be his to taste._

_He threw me down ._ _I'm_ _practically a shaking mess. I crawl backwards while he just looms over me._

_"Mark, mark what are you doing?_ _I'm_ _so_ _confused-what's_ _wrong with your eyes? Why are you scaring me?"_

_"Little bird_ _I'm_ _not scaring you;_ _I'm_ _preparing you._ _I'm_ _coming with a rumble and a bang. Expect to feel hurt. Pain. Pleasure. And anti, anti will potentially come to me."_

_"Who is anti?" I beg for an answer._

_"Why,_ _he's_ _the one in control of you right as we speak, and_ _don't_ _worry._ _He's_ _definitely_ _going to leave you with a fun little surprise when you wake up._ _Til_ _then_ _I'm_ _going to play with you_ _bird_ _. " he cackled, my_ _spine_ _left with a shrill cold sensation from the sound alone._

_"_ _I'm_ _not staying asleep!_ _I'm_ _gonna wake up!" I screamed as_ _I_ _kicked his ever growing_ _presence_ _away. Eyes shut with limbs thrashing until_ _I_ _open my eyes to be back in my house._

__________________________________________________

Looking around I find my phone open on my text messages and boy oh boy did a do an oopsies.  It seems I messaged Mark that I missed him, and even asked him to come down for just the two of us to spend time together. Dear God... He hasn't responded yet but my body has the feelings of pins and needles all over. I- I don't know what this _anti_  guy wants but I sure don't want a part of this fucking rubbish.  I don't know what else he did but if this is it I guess then it isn't so bad. 

_Oh. It wasn't 'just'  Mark this Anti guy texted, but Felix and two others. Two unlikely fellows that due to their lack of lives answered almost instantly to the texts. Dan and Phil._

I open up the chat and sigh, all Anti did was ask them awkward questions about Mark and Felix, things like which is more handsome, who they liked more, just weird things I wouldn't personally ask them but it seems it was asked. 

_D:Ok Ok, so which socio would you rather have an awkward sexual interaction with; the joker or sherlock holmes?_

_P: sherlock! At least he won't murder me afterwards!_

_D:But he will let you know you're shit and make you feel reeeaaaaaaallllllly dumb through it all_

_P:So... My life?_

_D:WOW ONE TIME I SAY SOMETHING AND YOU STILL SALTY?!_

_P:I'm just stating facts Daniel_

_D:I read Daddy  not gonna lie_

_P:EW WE'RE IN A GROUP CHAT WITH JACK! DON'T SCAR HIM!_

_J: I don't mind, kinky is ma thang_

_D:See, Jack gets it_

_P:You both are so gross_

_D:Spoken like a bottommmmmm_

_J:Bottomers represent!_

_P:I hate you both; wait, Jack... did you like just_

_D:You didn't just_

_D:LIKE NO  JUDGEMENT IF YOU SWING THIS WAY_

_P:CONGRATS! IF YOU ARE I MEAN_

And that's where I guess  must've stopped responding, great job Anti,  leave em hanging. Ugh. Why is life so fucked for me? I just wanted to make youtube videos and here I am apparently wanting to be a fucking bottom, a bottom! Like I would ever ask for a dick up my arse, yet here I am telling my two favourite British idiots that I wanna get fucked; literally.

_______________________________________________________________________________

(Mark's POV)

I don't know why Jack seems to want me down, I figured he got the hint that I was pushing away but I guess that's why he wants me down? I don't understand... And he wasn't texting the usual way he does, the way he texts is more cutesy and tons of swearing, he was more... flirty? It was weird, just tons of hearts, crying faces and kisses attached to the end of sentence he delivered. Hell I should feel more uncomfortable but I do miss him, so seeing all that does make me happy he misses me too. 

I walk around to an empty flat, which is a surprise considering the amount of people it holds usually. I end up just munching on cereal as a thing to fill the hunger I didn't know I had. Venturing to my couch I check the notification on my skype to see an unread message from Jack himself. Hmm... I get the feeling my Jack isn't feeling himself...

_Jackaboi: C'mon daddy am I cute?_

_Jackaboi: Ooopsiiieees, that was meant for Felix ;*_

I start getting a headache almost immediately, starting to pound like my head was a drum and we were going to war. A voice in my head makes my suffering only get worse. I put my cereal down on the floor and curl into a ball on the sofa, whining while the voice gets louder, my vision getting darker, I pass out. 

_My little shit decides that in his spare time this is what he does?! FELIX?! I mean here I am, his wet dream, my sex with him being one hell of a sexy nightmare and he decides to tell me that?! He seems to like getting me angry but this, this is a last straw. Darky is coming and I don't care which one I hurt, Anti or little birdy, either one is getting my wrath._

_"Jack, I'll come up next week. Let me pack and get a flight ready. Marky is coming down to pay a visit."  And now with a tiny little text I'm coming. He best be ready. Daddy Dark is coming._

____________________________________________________________________________________

(Jack's POV)

Oh God, oh Jesus Christ, oh Krishna and Vishnu, whoever else there is on the clouds in the sky I need you all. I don't know  what in the fook happened for me to come out to Phan, and then to message Felix about whether I'd be a top or bottom?! why would I even ask that? Why did I ask what he prefers, thank christ he didn't answer... What's this? Mark messaged me on... skype? Well fuck. Misfortune won't stop fist fuckin me. I don't think this is gonna bode well but I'mma hope for the very best. 

 

_'Good, you're gonna need it.'_

 


	6. Antis funtime

"Mark, I just... I want to touch you. I miss you,  please... touch me." Fuck, I'm not that needy, I need to get myself together. Hmmm, maybe I can use this anti dark thing and find a way to weave it into my story. When life gives lemon you make a sexy lemonade. I'll use this weird experience for the best fan fic to ever grace the bloody internet!

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Mark, I love you, you get it? I know there's no way I could be with you but I want you more than anything." Jack whispered between them, his heart pumping nothing but blood and pain into the words he spoke. It wasn't the words that hurt, but the simple silence that followed that was the heart breaker.

"Why now? When I was single and you were too you never said anything, now I'm happy and you want to throw this on me? Do you know how hard this is for me? I wanted you too, hell I still do but if I do anything now I'd be an asshole like no other. Sean, I do love you too. I just can't. I'm sorry." He leaned in to kiss Jack's now sniffly nose, the last bit of affection Jack thought he would ever get. Mark turned away, unable to look at the tear driven face of the man he had suppressed his love for.

"Mark? Before you go... I just need to ask you one more question..." The soft voice was still quaking from when he confessed moments earlier.

"What's that Sean?" He sighed, back still facing Jack, unsure he could even muster a glance at the beautiful Irish man.

"Who's darkiplier? Umm... he uh-"

"Sean, why do you know him?" Mark turned his head a bit to look back at Jack, a bit of fear starting to wash over his eyes.

"He talked to me, said he's... coming? I-I don't know, I just thought I should let you know... But more than that. I want to know what is he going to do? I mean for a scary guy he keeps making me think there's hope for us..."

"Don't listen to him, he'll whisper sweet nothings in your ear til you leave him with the most vulnerable you, then he'll destroy you."

"Then wouldn't he come for me now?" Sean looked up at Mark with glazed eyes, whole body trembling. 

"Don't entice him. He likes weakness." Mark sounded like he was battling something within himself. "We like weak things, he just doesn't care to admit it."

"Mark?"

"He's gone now pretty birdy. You wanted to know what I'll do? I'll show you..." His voice trailed off as he came closer and closer to Jack until he had Jack pressed to a nearby wall.

"Mark, or um, 'Dark' I-I don't think you wanna do this, you don't want me... Remember?"

"Oh you're so innocent, I want to do this because of how weak you look. your tears...." He stopped to lick Jack's cheek, making the male visibly shiver. "Why these are what make it all worth it in the end. Your tears are like liquid diamonds my dear, and I'm going to make you create a fountain from those crystal eyes of yours. Now; time to start the fun." 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So here's where the issues come up, firstly; I don't know whether I'd be givin or receiving and I don't even know what either of those means. All I know is a guy puts his little dicky inside the arse of another man and I know it should feel good, but I've no idea what it's like. I know I should figure out since I know for a fact I'm interested in men but I'm... I'm nervous. I don't know what to do or expect. I mean it seems like it should hurt but I don't think I'm ready for either, I know I want to do things with a man, but I just don't know how.

"well dark will teach you, he's coming for you and he wants to eat our ass up."  Again with that stupid anti, he keeps fucking me over!

"You can fuck off you stupid voice! you're only here cause I'm stressed, wiki and webMD told me so!"

"I know you read it, I'm always here you know, I'm the one who keeps you kinky. I'm the one that takes you out your comfort zone, and I'm the one who's gonna get us fucked ok? He's gonna be here in a few days so let's start stretching that ass."

"I am not doin shiet to my arse so you can back the fuck off."

"Well then it's gonna hurt ten times more since he's not the preppin guy you know? He's more of the, fuck now and then tell you it's your own fault later type of guy. So we're gonna suffer if  you don't prep. Now, I already ordered lube and what not and for now I'm taking over. You can take the passenger seat." 

"What?! Get the fu-ahhhhhhhh!"

"And now we're ready for a real good time."

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh. My. Fuck. He posted it. The most disgusting thing I've ever read. God, I can't. I'm gonna die in a hole in the ground! I-I'm just gonna go talk to Fe, tell him kinda about it? Like a teensy bit. Nothing about me writing but not writing it. I just can't.  I open up skype and call Felix,  no one else would make me feel better about this situation.

Even now I still feel like that anti guy is over my shoulder, he's like a chill on my spine that won't leave the perched place on me, looming over everything I do, and he's only just started.

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"So... 'fuck me daddy with that big cock of yours. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god I need you.' Man this fic about you makes you sound sexy." Felix said after reciting some lines from the fanfic. God I'm blushing to no end. 

"shut right the fuck up,  I'm horrified by this. I sound like a right tramp. " I groan and shove my face into my hands.

"At least it's accurate." Felix shrugs so casually as if he'd not been speaking about sex.

"now how do you know what's accurate fe?" I peer between the slips of my fingers, big eyes lookin at him only to see him flush a bright pink.

"Oh shut it jack." He mumbled, rolling his eyes as he stuck a hand through his hair.

"No no, now I'm curious." I smirk, fully showing my face and moving to have my arms crossed.

"Sean I'm bi; I'm allowed to know what it takes to fuck a guy. You should know this stuff though seeing that you'd clearly be on the... ahem... receiving end."

Unbelievable. This little shit even thinks I'd be taking it. "Why the hell am I always; and I do mean always the guy gettin fucked? !" I whined in a way that would be cute if it wasn't for us just being friends. 

"Because you're small, sassy, you got nice legs and hips like a kardaaaaashiiiiaaaannnnn." He wiggled his brows and at this point I question why I talk to him.

"fe you're like an old man, hitting on me makes you look like a creep."

"Not if no one sees it. I've touched the butt already man. Means I've had more ass than you." 

"You've also kissed a dude just to see chicks do stuff. You're easily swayed my friend." I recall back to the video with Mark. 

"Yeah but you also said Mark was sexier naked."

"Now what does that have to do with anything?!"

"He's like... called dad by his fans man. So if anything I'd be concerned if he tried to bang you."

"Wouldn't be a problem."

"Wait what?!"

"It'd be giving the fan girls what they want."

"So... you want mark to bang you... yes?"

"No!"

"How rude, why don't you throw the fans for a loop and let me bang you ehhhhhhh." He snorts which is pretty adorable from this bearded freakazoid I call a friend. I'll just disregard his stupidity for the more taxing questions I have.

"But I don't get it! I don't know how you do any of that stuff! Is there like a trial run for finding out whether you get it in the pooper or what? Fe I'm lost and it seems you're the only one who I can talk to. I would've went to my other sources but they were no help at all." I huff as I think back to Dan and Phil when I just outed myself instead of actually getting anywhere with my dilemmas. 

"I'm a bit hurt that you didn't talk to me first. Well; first off, people can switch if they don't have a definite dominant person Sean. You don't just have to always take it in the butt. I mean usually couples kinda have a preference but that's like normal; like being into a certain type of sex position. Ya get it?" 

"I guess... I'm just nervous... like what if it doesn't work out for me and I don't like the sex regardless? I'm boned then aren't I? " I look down sheepishly because I am scared. I am. Plus with Mark coming down I just don't know how I feel; what if this anti guy comes out? What if I'm thrown into it. I don't know.

"I mean I have an idea but you might find it stupid...." he trailed off which makes me a little worried but at this point I basically trust him with everything but my life so I'll oblige his whimsical theatrics. 

"I'll do anything."

"Call me daddy."

"Everything except that."

"Worth a shot. Oh well. Watch some gay port and we'll see what happens, see what naturally calls to you. "

"You want me to watch porn with you? That's like a whole new level of weird." I look at him as he kinda fumbles with the microphone cable attached to his headphones.

"We can do it in a week. That was it's like comfortable."

"Mark comes in a week."

"Well... do it when he goes to bed; geeeeeez. Always an excuse you potato." He chuckled as I sadly sigh and nod in agreement to this dumb plan. 

"I guess we can do that...."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ {time skip to a week and mark is now down. It's been a day since mark came down. It's been casual.}

Mark and I just kinda did the usual... we played games, went on twitter, edited and uploaded content all that. The issues started once he went to bed. I had an itch in the back of my neck that ran into my throat since I went to get him at the airport and now; his second night over and the burning has went all over my body. This anti guy won't shut the fuck up in my head. 

I want to play jack! I want to touch him, dark is in there and I miss touching him!

"Shut up! There's no one there but mark! I don't want to touch him!" I whimper as I hold my head, curled in a ball of pain and suffering. 

I want to figure that out myself. We either touch him or we fuck ourselves to the thought of him. You decide or I'm taking over.

"I don't want either! Leave me alone! You're gonna ruin my life! I can't take this!" I didn't even notice I was crying until I felt my knees get wet.

Then I'm going to talk to Felix and ask him to touch me. No matter what way, I'm going to come out now I'll be going to either touch my dark or I'll make it that you can never look at little Fe the same.

"I don't want either! Neither! You're mean!"

And you didn't choose in time. Hehe Bu bye!


End file.
